Most people have the basic assumption that everyone they are connected to is just like them. And that they think and will act the same way too. Any assumption or expectation you make takes you from your gut instinct or awareness to an autopilot state. This not only stops you and your awareness of what is really needed but it projects a level of expectation on the other person that is impossible to meet.
Expectations is one of the leading cause of difficulties in relationships.
How do you feel when people expect something of you? For most people, the expectations create a level of separation and stops any movement forward.
What happened the last time people assumed you were going to do something but they never asked you? Now think of a time you made assumptions about someone else like your kids or loved one and you expected them to do something but they put their walls up and went into defensive state instead? How many times did they do the opposite just...
Men and women actually do speak differently. For example, men tend to speak directly to the point whereas women like to share what is going on for them and chat about the subject. I remember hearing somewhere how men only hear 7% of what you are saying. Whether or not that is true, it is important to ask questions to make sure you are on the same page with whomever you are talking to, rather than making assumptions; assumptions that you are being listened to, assumptions that the other person is hearing what you are meaning to say, assumptions that what you are saying can be received by the other person, etc.
It is also important to recognize that not all people fit into gender stereotypes, so don’t assume that just because you are a man you should always be direct, or that because you are talking to a woman that means they like to share, etc. Never function from assumptions with anything! You want to know if the communication style is like a man...
When people think of stress, they often go straight to trying to cut down on the amount of things they are doing. It’s not necessarily that you have to stop working as much as you do. Some people thrive on having lots to do and would be stressed if they had to do nothing. It’s about being aware of what works for you. And, if you are a person who enjoys having lots on, it’s about also being mindful to still take care of your body; because it’s so easy to become unconscious and ignore it unintentionally when you are so focused so intently on work or whatever it is that you are doing. That’s when your ‘go to’ techniques become essential, because when you are under the pump to get things done, you often don’t have the time to do stress reducing things that are more time consuming like exercise or holidays. In these times, it is even more essential to look after yourself throughout the day.
State, “I let go all the projections and expectations I have of today and [ add whatever it is that is scheduled for the day eg. your meetings, the project you are working on, etc.]”
If you thought differently about any situation that is occurring in your life right now, would you act differently? Your point of view is your only limitation; it is distracting you from success.
Below is a summary of my top tips for breaking free of distractions and perceived limitations, which I shared in the fabulous book, Leaders & Legends. Go beyond the fear, create confidence and become aware of the infinite possibilities available to you with the following:
When the milk is spilled it can’t go back in the carton. Think of your problems the same way. Are you focusing on what could have or should have been or done? It’s time to move on. Wipe up the mess, pour yourself another glass, or choose something else.
The most common mistake we all make is to define in advance how things will turn out. Always remain open to the infinite possibilities that every situation contains. Ask...
Mindfulness is the new buzz word for general wellness in life, business, health, and effective leadership. But what is it and what does it mean for you?
Essentially, mindfulness is about being present in the moment; rather than operating on automatic pilot. It’s taking time to regularly stop whatever it is that you are doing and ask yourself, “How am I going right now? Do I require anything?” and being present with your body and it’s needs as well as being present with your environment, and all the people, and everything that is going on in that moment.
Almost everyone is aware of the health risks that ongoing stress creates. Yet it is not the stressors that are necessarily relevant, because often you can’t remove them anyway; it’s how you deal with them that is important for health and wellness. It’s about your state of mind. This is where mindfulness can assist.
When you are not fully present with yourself,...
These executives and entrepreneurs credit simple daily routines for their success.
Ever wonder what sets highly successful people apart? I’ve polled countless executives and entrepreneurs about the things they’re doing every day which give them an edge, and it’s not rocket science. In fact, often they credit simple daily routines which have been proven over time to give them an edge. Check out these quotes from 25 high-achieving individuals who talk about some of the habits which help them get ahead in business and life.
1. Practice “no stinkin’ thinkin.'”
“When you hear a negative thought come into your mind, replace it with a positive thought.”
–Patricia Trimble, founder and president of Suntegrity Skincare, a natural sunscreen line which has been featured on Dr.Oz, The Good Life, Rodale’s Organic Life, Prevention Magazine, Essence Magazine, W Magazine, and other national media outlets.
2. Take care of your body every day....
After being home for a week, I realized I had accomplished many things; facilitated a Board training and a Joy of Business leadership workshop, taken a few tele-classes, started some promotional work and new systems for my clients, attended a networking event, created a new marketing campaign for my new business, yet I really had not taken any time for me and my body.
I went to bed late as I have done for many weeks and months but chose to wake up early and go spend some time with my horse, Angel. The minute I got in my car, my whole body relaxed, I had a huge smile on my face, and I could not wait to be with her. When I arrived in her field, it was as though she said, “Thank you for coming.” She was playful, wanted to be scratched, and wanted to eat all the carrots I had brought with me. She kissed me, hugged me, let me groom her then it was time for me to go to work. As I was leaving, another owner arrived with a few carrots in his pocket. His horse was not...
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In business there is a lot of talk about the bottom line and doing whatever it takes to get the job done. With the development of technology and the easy access to connecting with others, there is no real end to the business day.
The challenge is that health issues affect the bottom line for businesses and the employees. There is a lack of consideration of one’s health and wellness when whatever it takes to get the job done is today’s predominant mindset.
Our body is constantly giving us information; it can start with gentle signs and if ignored, it can turn into more severe problems. Some of the symptoms of work stress include having a short temper, high blood pressure, heartburn, lower back, knee pain, diabetes, constipation, and progress to insomnia, stiffness the inability to get out of bed easily, and in some cases heart attacks.
There are five tools you can immediately incorporate into your work life to...
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One of the greatest joys in the world – Being a Mom!
My mother has been one of the greatest inspirations in my life. She came from an aristocratic family and married young as they do in her culture. She became a mother by the age of 17 and left an abusive relationship shortly after the birth of her son, all at a time when most would never speak up or have the courage to stand out in their family or society.
The courage continued as she was forced to leave her country and life as she knew it. She left her family and friends, her businesses, her husband and their wealth overnight in order to quickly take her three children out of the country, just days after the start of the Iranian revolution.
In time of uncertainty and challenges, my mom always showed us that we are stronger than the fears we think we have; to never allow the situation, even if it is a revolution, natural disasters, or...